I got the ILYBINILWY bomb from my W in Oct 2007. As bad as the rollercoaster has been for the past 7 months, things acutally got worse once she decided to give up the OM at the beginning of May. Affair was a complete and total fantasy thing as he lived in another state and my wife is 20+ years older than him.
Sara -- I have to say after looking at a number of your posts is that you hit many things on the head from the woman's point of view.
We've been in MC since Feb. and all I can do is look at our R like someone in AA -- one day at a time. Some days my W seems to have hope, other days she's just about ready to separate.
The OM relationship was just like a drug so I'm certain she's going through withdrawal.
I am just trying to be the best father/husband/man I can be, but she really does put my best efforts to the constant test. The main issue, is that she's no longer sexually attracted to me, says she hasn't been for years, and can't see us ever being intimate again. I look at it as being part of her MLC -- affair, wants to get a horse, a pick-up truck, working out, losing wight, Botox....the list is long.
But she is very headstrong -- and stubborn. Right now I'm feeling hopeless, but one weird thing that keeps happening...just when things seem irrevocably dark, then some positive stuff happens. Just when I think we might be on the verge of a positive breakthrough, she pulls way back.
At least she realized that the OM was a big roadblock to any chance of reconciling our M. But now that the roadblock is out of the way, we can see clearly all the other obstacles that still remain.
LOR
Me-54 W -45 S-9 D-6 M - 10 1/2 years Bomb drop Oct '07 almost separated - Jan '08 MC - Feb. '08
