It's okay, sweetie, if you don't respond to others a lot. You have enough on your own plate. I would think that just b/c your H is paying the mortgage does not give him the special privileges he is taking, but like you said, check with L to see where you stand legally. He has no right to go through your mail, etc. and he can have his mail forwarded or open a P.O. Box. He is just being an a$$ and taking an advantage to look around to see what he can find as "evidence" to make you look bad, b/c he knows he is the one that has screwed up (literally). Don't allow him to make you feel inferior to him. I have heard and read over and over that men think the sexiest thing a woman can have is self confidence. Not that you are trying to show him that you are hot and sexy at this point, but I'm just trying to help you feel more confident about taking a stand on your on turf. He may not show it in words or actions, but I bet he would respect you for it.
Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing how upset he can make you. That gives him way too much power over the stitch. Your weakest link is your DD.....which is understandable. Ask you C how to deal with him on that level b/c it is your child that is suffering so much.
It is amazing how your DD feels so strongly about her daddy. But, I would suspect she would have a much stronger reaction if her mommy had left the home. She may see him as the "protector" of the home and without him there, she feels somewhat frightened. She may have even sensed you seeming to be frightened when in reality you were just upset with him. We never know how kids interpret things. However, you are getting her help and that is good. You are billing your H for this, right? BTW, do you get to sit in on the sessions? I would insist in being able to at least watch threw a one way window and preferably with a listening device. But at least you could watch and she doesn't have to know you are there. It's just best, IMHO, if the parent has a way of observing the session without the child knowing. That way, you feel she is protected and yet she can confide in the doctor without trying to say things just to please mommy. (I just have my own personal reasons for saying that.)
Although I almost left my H, my heart does go out to LBS. I tend to get a bit tough on some of the men, but it's b/c I can see it from a female POV.
I am glad that you received my post graciously and anytime you need to talk, know that I am here.
Take care of you and DD.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
