hey sandi2 thankx so much for taking the time with me, sometimes i feel ill loose my mind. fyi was with om age 15-17 lost all to him very willingly!!!! thought he was the one even at that age, he is 2yrs older grad before me moved on blah blah!! never ever let him go completly, needless to say put on back burner had a life college, marrage, 2 beautiful kids, never ever letting anyone else that close besides my kids. my marrage is to a totally different type of man than was my type, hes safe, predictable. about 2-3 yrs into our marrage any feelings i had left along with any passion, sex maybe 1x ev mo or two, totally for his benifit, wake u up blah blah you get the idea!!! so i can take care of myself, work, kids, friends, together but not!!! meanwhile always thinking the om would show up someday!!! jan 08 there he is, started inocently, catch up my heart already totally comitted. he says hes in exact same sitch. but not willing to leave trapped into this 2nd marrage as she got pregnant. continute to talk 2 mo. very sexually explicit im hooked, nothing at home and its HIM!!!!!! so i fly to where he lives now, spent an amazing day caught up on EVERYTHING! home cant continue this life anymore with or without o/m ask husband to leave. please know over yrs tried EVERYTHING to ignite marrage, talk, hotel rooms,you name it NOTHING, and even an occasional laugh at me it was 20+ yrs. of humilation. please know im attractive, work out, educated i didnt get it!!!! cont relationship with plans to meet again, my husb snooped found emails printed, plane ticket!! wasnt pretty. om ran away wich kills me how do u just turn your back!!!! screwed by the two men i let close. now husband willing to do whatever takes, dates, sex, dinner, talk!!!!!!! i would not have done what i did if i still had feelings for husband, and i will always love om!!! cant get out of my head, heart. its awful, im depressed, useless to kids, work, this recovery of second leave by om is a killer. as far as husband goes, tryn not feelin love, owe it to all involved in my life. also uncovered serious fincial info with husb. just want to run away!!!!! hows that for drama.... i need to get a hold of my self, my life. CAN NOT STOP THINKIN OF OM its pathetic. HELP
