Quote: One could argue that the happiness I derived from her love wasn’t real because it came from “external sources.” I simply don’t care where it came from. It was there, and that’s good enough for me.
with the exception of finding another to love you and for you to love...what other outside sources can you find to make you happy??
yes, I'd love to feel loved (on a regular basis and not just when it's convenient) by h and to feel free to love him...but while I wait for that to happen with regularity I need to keep me happy myself...some may say it's just empty busy stuff...well then if it's empty stuff then it's the wrong stuff...so what am I doing?? painting rooms...learning to be an emt, becoming a part of a community larger than that one residing in my home...makes me feel good about me...makes me feel alive...then I need h less and less and it is more a choice to spend time with him.
your post seems rather down, I know it's hard to find positive when you are down, maybe take a few min to list some positives even if they are not in relation to w might bring you some needed peace.
