Another new topic! already? Here we go

[LoginName]

Aud,
I just needed to vent that anger. I don't think I've allowed myself to process it completely yet. I'm getting there, as I tried to show at the end of the post. It is tricky, especially since I have always had a problem with anger - showing it that is.

Thanks for the wise words. Forgiveness is a continual process.

I don't really know what processing the anger means. Do I need to show my W my anger? Do I need her to see it? (she has been so afraid of my, or anyone's anger, even though I am so incredibly un-angry and mild). Do I need to throw a fit? Do I need to talk to the IC? Maybe some kind of ancient ritual involving fire, pain, dancing, and maybe the blood of small furry animals?

I'm not an angry person and it comes and goes quickly. Feeling that my kids could have suffered, much more than they did, because of her actions, angers me more than what she did to me. And, it's just hard to understand.

Anyway, Passionate Marriage is really speaking to me in ways the other books didn't. DB was and is good.It's very practical and quick acting. Passionate Marriage is more "why" and more long term, in my view. Although the book is mainly about sex, it's really about life, and relationshiops. One thing he say is that marriage is supposed to be hard. We shouldn't expect to "get it" and then never have serious issues. Marriage is one of the best places for us to grow as people, and growing hurts, often. And it can lead to real intimacy and passion - which is what I'm aiming for.

Based on what I've read from you, in posts to me, and to others, and on your own sitch, I think you get it. I think you have or are growing. I hope your H grows with you.

In the worst of my sitch, I came across the idea of embrassing your pain, owning it. Also, as the healing has started, I felt my pain switch from an evil, nasty pain to a healthy healing pain. I think with work the pain of growth and finding intimacy and passion can be that kind of clean, healthy pain. And the rewards and joys are worth it.

You still gowing to respond to my previous post?