I am happy that you are getting so much out of counseling and that you feel safe there. That will be a tremendous help to you in the future.
Funny story- I am back in school, as you know (ugh!) and one of my professors is also a counselor. He is the sweetest man that I have ever met. He is in his 70's and still working because he loves it (and people) so much. Anyway, he told us how there have been so many times that his women clients have thought that they were in love with him...simply because he LISTENED to them! So, he leaned over his desk and said to the one male in our class, "So, son, I am going to tell you the secret of relationships.... listen to everything she has to say! That's it!"
Sigh. If he wasn't so old and obviously in love with his spouse...well, you know...
Cagz, don't sweat the papers. I think you will find even more pressure relieved at that point. We spend so much time worrying about how bad it is going to feel to get them that when it does happen it isn't the big deal that we stressed about the whole time. Just another crappy day in the relationship. It doesn't define what happened before and won't really define what comes later.
Keep living for you. The rest is just a waste of time.
