Well done on the black belt Andy. Congratulations !
doubt anyone has posted their dissatisfaction with what they were putting into their R. Every thread on this board is about what the poster is missing from their R
Not sure I totally understand the difference Andy? Could you please elaborate?
I enjoyed your smile report. Given that your karate classes have taught you to control your mind, are you able to focus your mind on cherishing and compassion?
Soup ...side-bar question for KAW. What does "most" mean? As in make the most with people?
What I meant by my comment was that an R is give and take. People come to this BB; not because their SO won’t take anymore, it’s because their SO doesn’t want to put anything into the R.
I suppose that sometimes the SO won’t take anymore either. They won’t give us the satisfaction of taking what we have to offer.
Sharing is a two way street.
My karate taught me to concentrate whilst I’m doing it, but though there’s a certain philosophy behind it all, it doesn’t (at least in my case) calm a troubled mind except to distract it from its troubles during the actual practice.
Having said that, once I’ve calmed down, it’s easier to stay calm, and the physical aspect tires me so I often sleep better.
Riding my bike (motorcycle) helps too, though it’s too dangerous to ride if you’re not already able to concentrate.
Quoting KAW: I'm a bit of a late bloomer to this, but I believe our purpose is to make the most of the R we have with the other people we touch throughout our lives that includes the people we don't choose to be with (like co-workers, the clerk behind the counter, etc..) and the ones we do chose to be with and how we choose to touch their lives is what brings us happiness.
Quoting Soupman: ...side-bar question for KAW. What does "most" mean? As in make the most with people?
Hi Soup, Simply put ... our purpose in regards to "the meaning of life" stuff is in the way we interact with other people and touch their lives. To make the most of this is to strive to make every interaction a positive experience for all involved.
The "Zen" motorcycle master! Meditating while riding. I love it Andy !
They won’t give us the satisfaction of taking what we have to offer.
Doesn't that imply that we're looking for, expecting some sort of acknowledgement for what we are offering to the relationship? If I've understood you correctly, why do you think that's (acknowledgement) even necessary?
Hi Soup, Simply put ... our purpose in regards to "the meaning of life" stuff is in the way we interact with other people and touch their lives. To make the most of this is to strive to make every interaction a positive experience for all involved.
Without tying up Andy's thread KAW, I wasn't refering to "the meaning of life". I was talking about "our purpose while on this earth". I see the two as being slightly different.
So does "positivie experience" cover "give love and receive love"?
Quoting Soupman: The "Zen" motorcycle master! Meditating while riding. I love it Andy !
But like I said, it can be dangerous. I had bruises to prove it.
Quoting Soupman: Doesn't that imply that we're looking for, expecting some sort of acknowledgement for what we are offering to the relationship? If I've understood you correctly, why do you think that's (acknowledgement) even necessary?
Because we’re social creatures, and it makes us feel good. I’m not talking about the internal kind of good that I mentioned to Sarah. I love myself. But if my R with my W is only a business relationship, then it’s no relationship at all.
You’ve seen me very unhappy, Soup. Very unhappy. Have you ever heard me say I’m not worthy?
You're right. We are social creatues and it does make us feel could when we look for acknowledgement. And yes, we're programmed (by historical habit) from birth to behave this way. But what has it gotten us. Most people in this world seek happiness from external sources never to find it.
Giving and taking. How can we learn to love with no one to love? How can we practise giving with no one to give to, or patience with no one to irritate us?
Perhaps if you gave up the need for acknowledgement and simply focused on giving things would change. Your wife seems to be an ideal candidate (many delusions and unhappiness) for you to practise with.
Soup ... preparing a potato salad for dinner guests.
Quoting Soup: Without tying up Andy's thread KAW, I wasn't refering to "the meaning of life". I was talking about "our purpose while on this earth". I see the two as being slightly different.
... and I don't intend to hijack Andy's thread any more as well so I'll sum up with ... Sorry, for mudding up the waters with my loose use of phrases. I wasn't talking about "meaning of life" on a grand scale but on a personal one - one's lifetime, which I see the same as being our purpose here. As Andy says, we are social creatures, so what other way is there to sum up our purpose / worth than how we choose to interact with others?
Quoting Soup: So does "positivie experience" cover "give love and receive love"?
