Strong, Thanks for your post. My goal is to be able to preserve a functional marriage relationship that allows my children to grow to adulthood in a two parent home. That trumps most everything else. My wife is inherently very low drive and due to our history has become a no drive with a biting tongue on the matter. She has stated during counseling that she "Despises" me. I will admit she had plenty of reason to at the time, most of those reasons are now gone with only a marginal change in her attitude. Clarification - our relationship is much better, our sex life is the same or worse. I believe that I have found a strategy that allows us to have a pretty decent relationship, just no sex. In reading your posts, I found a line where you say that sex is a want not a need. That is where I am now. I am unwilling to put myself into a position where I am subject to my wife's ability to emasculate me in the bedroom. This may be cowardice, but I don't need any more rocks in my pack as I climb out of my hole. I remember asking my Dad once if he enjoyed the work he did. He looked at me like I was crazy and told me "of course not. But it puts food on the table." That is my opinion towards my wife and sex. Sure I would love a great sex life, but I KNOW it is not coming from her. It is more important to raise the kids in a stable home. Remember, it is her FUNDAMENTAL perspective that I am oversexed and abnormal and should be PROFOUNDLY grateful for whatever I do get. Our past conselors have sided with her on this (women). I would be more than happy to hear more from you on this and I am sure that I deserve a 2x4!
