Well that TOTALLY SUCKS! My computer ate my post when I tried to pause the security scan! Grrrr!!

Anyway, I'll try to make this brief, because that other one was long!.....Uh, was that a "No way!" I heard in the distance?!

GFI - I missed your question about my H's interactions with other people. Sorry about that!

He is rude to almost everyone. Everyone that really matters. He calls his sister a little b**** and/or an idiot when she p*sses him off or does something HE doesn't agree with. He is a lot nicer to his mom, but easily gets annoyed with her when he feels she's asking too many questions about things he doesn't want to talk about and will sometimes yell at her, telling her to "leave (him) the f*** alone" or to "just SHUT UP, Mom!". His friend who he's known for the last 20 years - H totally thinks he's a "f'up" and will tell him so, but it doesn't really matter because they've been through a lot together. They're like brothers, iykwim.

The only person I know of, since we've been back together, that he totally respects is one of his supervisors. I think H is jealous of how "great" his life is - nice home, good W, great kids, etc. This is also the same guy, and ONLY guy, who H ever confided in regarding our sitch. He's the only one H told the truth to (about his A), and this guy is the one who told him to get his sh** together, come back home to me and the kids because "your family is everything", and H better consider himself "DAMN lucky" if I decided to give him another chance.

Other than this friend, I can't think of anyone else he treats well. Wait, the two coworkers who come over often. He is always busting their ba**s about something, but it's all in fun.

Dang, I am really getting tired.

ACJ and Jeff, I think you are both right, and I will NOT do anything more for him. I will not do his laundry, make his appts that HE has PLENTY of time to make on his own while he's on the computer at work \:\/ , no more shopping for him (that includes getting his Gatorade), and come dinnertime, I will only make enough for me and the boys. I will not feed him and his friends anymore.

Nothing will change in his favor or be to his liking UNTIL HE MAKES SOME CHANGES FOR ME. I am NOT going to let him crap on me anymore.

His words this evening sealed the deal for me.

When he and the boys returned from the movie, I was on my way out to meet up with some friends. Asked the kids how the movie was and if they had a good time (they did \:\) ). Then H walked in, saw that I was heading out and asked, "Soooo....what's the plan?" I told him I was going to hang out with my friends, and I also said, "I know you have to work early tomorrow, so don't worry. I'll be back long before you have to leave."

It's like he totally didn't hear me, even though we were standing within 2 feet of each other! He said, "You know, I do have to work tomorrow." I said, "Yes, I know that. I just said I would be back in plenty of time." I was VERY pleasant the whole time and kind of smiling.

So I start walking out of the house to my car when he says, "And just so you know, I DON'T care about you or what you're doing. All I care about are the kids and that I have to work tomorrow. That is ALL I care about."

That hurt. Hurt like he** \:\( . Still does. WHY does he have to rub it in like that? \:\(

I just nodded my head 'yes' and smiled at him saying, "I know. I know. You've told me that already." Then turned around and left. He didn't say anything. Just went into the house.

Geez.

Anyway, when I got home around 1am, he was still awake. Interesting, seeing as how he has to be up at 4:30am.

He tried to get under my skin again, but this time, I just ignored him. Basically gave him the silent treatment. I only answered one question that was necessary (he asked me not to touch the alarm clock - guess he thinks I'd turn it off and make him late for work on purpose or something *rolling eyes*).

I'm trying to think.....it's so late , I can't believe I'm still up!......What was he trying to do????

Oh yeah! He was talking about how important his job is for this family, so he needs to get up on time. In a pissy tone, he said, "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't touch the alarm clock, ok?" I said ok, and nothing more. H said, "My job is important, you know? Wouldn't you agree that my job is important to this family?" I didn't answer. Just kept quiet. He kept asking me over and over again for a couple more minutes until he finally gave up and went to bed.

I KNOW what he was trying to do there. Another controlling tactic of his. He says he doesn't need me, but he WANTS me to admit that I NEED HIM.

I did not give him that sense of power over me tonight. Right or wrong, I would not do it.

Ok, I gotta get to sleep!

Thanks again, everyone! You're all terrific!

PS - ACJ, I do work but it's very limited part-time. H brings in anywhere from $6000 to $10000 a month (gross) while I only bring in about $1000 each month. My earnings mainly go to gas for my car, my cellphone bill, and groceries. H pays for everything else.

G'night or good morning, all! NOW I'm going to bed!

OH!!! One more thing! H says he's cancelling the internet service tomorrow (Saturday). He made that 'threat' when I got home tonight because I logged on and wouldn't talk to him. So we'll see what happens!

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell