Wading with Water wings - 23 years...

[CBK]

It was so tense in the house, we both felt it, the kids felt it. She would never talk about the small stuff - daily life, etc. but wanted to be "friends" and treated me like a stranger. I was obsessed with OM, the less she would tell me, even in counseling, the more I needed to find out - my downfall. Although I am awake at 1 AM, I don't have he anxiety I used to have. Even when she slept, I wanted to hear her breathing - so being physically apart for awhile is agood thing. Will we ever be back, only God knows right now. Am I giving up, no, but as CW says, I will be a much better DBer right now. This definetly took the negative feelings out of the house - they are still there between us, but at least I don't have to relive them every day like I was.

I am sure each day will be a growing experience. I will need to figure out what to do next - is it time to go totally dark? I am assuming so. She will stay in contact through the kids. Even though I am not giving up, still not sure what to do about MC, I have never liked going as she was not there to work on us, can't believe she will be on Thursdsay of next week.

CBK