Help Me Act AS IF, Part 5

[newnamenewlife]

I AM letting him go--but he's not going. He seems to be stalling on doing what he needs to do to make the move, so don't blame me for not letting him go! I have accepted it as much as I can for now. He knows I am sad and hurt and that I see our M differently--but he also knows that I'm not stopping him and that I realize his mind is made up. He also knows that this is going to be hard on our kids and I think he feels tremendous guilt about that.

If he is so determined to leave, then why isn't he going to live with his parents while he figures out how to get an apt? I have suggested that to him, but he won't do it. They aren't very far away. Why is he dragging his feet? It's not because I won't let him. At this point, I feel like he is holding ME hostage in my own home. I want to say GO ALREADY. What is he waiting for?

I am not going to lie and say I want this to happen, go with my blessing. But I am accepting it. The true, full acceptance can only happen over time, I believe, and not until he has left.