hey whatdidido, I just had to check in on you before bed.
A few thoughts after reading your post, You know me, I don't pull punches, I don't want to hurt anyone, but life doesn't always play fair.
Quote:
kat727: H maybe just needs to be told gently and directly what you need. This has been a huge change for both of you
I said this before, in your post somewhere, be direct with H about what you want, and how you feel, guys don't have a clue, we don't and you have to keep it short, we get confused easy.
But, and this is a hugh but, we like it when we know what makes our S happy. We like it when we know what you want. You said something, I believe about a mothers day present, that you wished that you didn't have to hold your H hand and help him pick something out ??? or something to that effect (maybe I'm confusing you with another poster) but the point is still the same, tell him that, I would appreciate whatever you would give me, as long as I knew you thought of it, you picked it out, etc. be prepared for almost anything, because we don't have a clue, but we will try. Same thing about meeting up with your H today, you don't know what he is thinking and he doesn't have a clue how you feel, tell him I thought that I was disrupting your schedule I felt ?? tell him, reach out, talk it out and find out what each other was thinking. I don't see this in many post communication, communication, why don't I see this more ??? I belive in a lot of the R books I have read, this is a top priority.
Quote:
whatdidido: I know it is the "right" choice, I just hope I don't commit to this and work my butt off at something that will never make us happy. I am 37 now. I wanted another child. If this doesn't work out, I'm pretty much going to lose out on that chance. I'm getting older every day. I love my husband, but something is missing. I need to really work at that....how to fix that....God, I hope I can fix that. I don't want to stay in this marriage just for my son
I know how you feel, (somewhat), I feel sometimes, like who would want a 45 old man with 4 kids, 5 years I'll be 50, I do think of this stuff, who doesn't, will I ever find love again, I know its not the same, time for me is different for you, you do deserve to have a chance at another child and I deserve to have another chance at love. I don't know what to say, how did we end up here at this point in time, I didn't plan on this, I'm sure you didn't either.
I'll pray, I'll pray for you, for God to give you guidance, I have no right to say anything about a woman and her desire for a child, there is nothing more beautiful, nothing more natural, then a mother and child.
I'm going to be happy, helpful, forgiving, patient and loving. Not just to W and kids, but to everyone I know and meet
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important
M45 W41 M10 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 no sex yet ??? let me hope !!! W moving out June 1st - 16 days
