Wading with Water wings - 23 years...

[CBK]

Well dang if I didn't lock up another thread.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1444901&page=1#Post1444901

Is where you can find my info.

SC - thanks for your post - you are getting much better with the quote box!

I do think it was inevitable that either she or I would have walked out sooner than later. There was so much tension in the house between us - she couldn't be nice, I couldn't detach - made us both miserable. I do think this is okay, even if she doesn't come back, I think this was a good move. Am I hopeful, heck yea, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't.

Good point about MC - I just don't want to go in as a punching bag like in the past. I need to validate and listen and only react to what she says. I am sure I will not see her between now and then, buy you never know. We are supposed to be at a group dinner tomorrow, I will be there, not sure if she will, hope so.

Who, me fight? Heck, that is all I have been doing: fighting with myself mostly, those inner demons. I do feel as if a load has been lifted temporarily off my back. Will see if I can sleep tonight!

Yea, go figure, take care of CBK - where have I heard that... I plan on sitting on my front porch - talk to my brother in a bit, drink a few more margaritas since I am not driving anywhere and just enjoy peace as it visits me every once in awhile.

CBK

[CBK]

I may fill up another thread tonight as I keep on journaling...

So I am sitting her on my front porch. Years ago when the kids were small, about 10 years ago maybe, we planted a heart shaped ivy plant that has been on our porch since then. About a year ago, the sprinkler quit on that one and is now a dead heart - boy, is that telling. Tomorrow, I am gonig to take out the dead ivy and replan with a new one so the heart is green again. Should have seen that as a sign Ha ha.

CBK

[ping1]

CBK, you stated in your last post that you feel at ease right now. I believe the reason for this is because you knew this was going to happen sooner or later and it in some ways takes the pressure off of you wondering what your next move was going to be around your W. This is your time to detach, don't call her, email her or make any contact at all. Show her that you are man enough and your life will be fine with or without her. You have been in a desperate state for some time now, she has seen it all over your face and your actions, she knew how bad you wanted to make your M work, now act as if you could care less if she is there or not. This will be tough at first but it will become much easier with her being gone. As I have posted to you in the past, I'm not sure how detaching in the same house even works, now you have the prime opportunity to do just that.

[smartcookie]

SC - thanks for your post - you are getting much better with the quote box!

Ah CBK, only one of my many talents. LOL (hey at least I'm getting better at something having to do with DB'ng)

Yea, go figure, take care of CBK - where have I heard that... I plan on sitting on my front porch - talk to my brother in a bit, drink a few more margaritas since I am not driving anywhere and just enjoy peace as it visits me every once in awhile.

CBK

Have a few for me too. I could use a margarita about now

[CBK]

Thanks Ping - I hope I can keep this attitude up I have right now - I am honestly at total peace right now. I have no desire to call her, email or text - none. Again, do I miss her, yea, but I have been missing her for a long time. If this is what she wants, so be it. I am not throwing in a towell, there is no lady singing right now - I am gearing up for my next round which is about CBK and his kids.

[Ready2Change]

Thanks Ping - I hope I can keep this attitude up I have right now - I am honestly at total peace right now. I have no desire to call her, email or text - none. Again, do I miss her, yea, but I have been missing her for a long time. If this is what she wants, so be it. I am not throwing in a towell, there is no lady singing right now - I am gearing up for my next round which is about CBK and his kids.

Hey CBK,

Just remember, your emotions will cycle. Peace is part of that cycle. I am at peace right now also. Yesterday I was a wreck (thinking too much about the future). I got out of the fog when friend said "Focus on today".

Hang in there!

[FaithfulH]

I am gearing up for my next round which is about CBK and his kids.

CBK,
You got that right....focus on the kids and YOU! I'm not gonna bring out my 2x4...you ignored the advice of most of us. But, here's the deal CBK...we ALL screw up at times. Sometimes we just gotta follow our heart....regardless of what somebody here tells you to do. I pray your W is moved by your letter...but, even if she is, you probably won't know about it for some time to come. When she comes back to you, it will be suddenly...and unexpected...but it feels like she has a lot more path to walk before she returns. Who knows?

Tonight CBK....just focus on lovin' those kids...and yourself! Goodnight, CBK!

[Ready2Change]

I found your Letter to Wife

It is scary how it says almost exactly what I wish I could say to my W. I learned that reasoning doesn't work. She will have to learn the scary truth on her own.....

[CBK]

Thanks all - just got done sitting on my porch and talking with friends. My S19 went over to hang out with his mom - great kids. I do think that this was inevitable - she said she is only going to go for a few days, but who knows. I am keeping my expectations very low right now. I was consumed by the sitch, totally out of control many times and then when I thought I was getting back on course, I would falter. I understand why she left as she kept telling me she needed her space - maybe the letter will help or hurt. I knew if I gave it to her, I would never know as she will probably read it and then write in her journal about it. Was I selfish during this last few weeks, I hate to admit it, but yes, I felt that hurt and I wanted somebody to hold me and say it would be okay - as many times as I was told, patience is key, I had none. IF she decides to come back into the home, then I have a plan for that, if not, I have a plan for that as well.

Still at peace, no anxiety, not stomach pains - ready to actually sleep tonight.

I hope I can sustain this peace.

CBK

[Ready2Change]

Yes, detach. And time. You can't hurry this process. There is a cycle of sadness, anger, peace, detachment. I go through it daily, hourly even. The trick is to not get caught in one phase, keep it flowing.