So y'all think that the best thing to do is just let slide that latest business about what H "knows" matters to me...
I can see the value in this; however it really bothers me that my silence will lead H to feel validated on this absolutely absurd idea...although my experience has been that if/when I have protested what he 'knows', he discounts my words...
Well, I think it's a matter of choosing your battles maybe? I mean, like you say when you defend yourself then he discounts your words. Plus I think sometimes our WAS just pick fights to justify their affairs so falling into that will just help them. I don't know that not choosing to argue means that you agree with them, more that you think it's a waste of time probably. I don't think doing so helps in any way, so what's the point? I wouldn't say you agree or your H is right or anything. I think when they are in that kind of mindset they believe what they want to believe, which tends to be unflattering stuff about us!
But I do think where I have been wrong at least is not in standing up for the important stuff: like when my H yelled at me or called me names or anything like that which was abusive. I think letting him get away with that was wrong and led him to lose respect for me and I def. lost respect for myself as well. Now I ask him to leave the house when he yells, and if he doesn't I leave. I don't know why I put up with that for so long!!! Karen
Karen