Wandering Poster - Sweet 16?

[Firekeeper]

Jeff,

i am a little apprehensive about your counselor. may be i am from a different school (i am a therapist by education w/10y of experience)

i hear that it is a positive experience for you as it builds you up due to validation. however i would disagree that you are not the one w/the problem. i usually see issues in marriage as 50/50 (except for dv). i would interpret that you are the one w/ 50% of the problem. at the very list it's your reactions, behaviors that contribute, support, prolong and perpetuate "the problem". is there way to explore that?

i do not like that she makes diagnoses and predictions ("she said that people like that rarely change"). is it from her personal experience, is it from statistics? when we hear those kinda things from "people in the know" we tend to accept it unquestionably and they can lead to self fulfilling prophecies.... what can be more useful is to run down the scenarios - if she changes, if she doesn't change, if she somewhat change - how much is good enough? btw - what is your goal?

i think the idea of another counselor for your w is a more promising idea because yours one already has a preconception about her.