Originally Posted By: dry_heat
I think your H may be realted to my W, though she isn't quite as vicious!


I'd like to hope that there weren't any other people in this world as vicious as H. It's really terrible and so sad.

He started in again with me after returning to the house.

It's all crumbling and going to crap.

He is angry, so am I. He points out things like, "Look at yourself. You can't even take care of yourself. A grown adult who can't pay her own bills. You're gonna run home to Mommy and Daddy, live happily in their perfect home, and everything will be just fine. You're gonna listen to your mother and your sisters - they will just poison your mind since you can't take care of yourself or the kids." I point out, "You are just so mad at everything and everyone that nothing is ever good enough. You are so hateful towards everybody, most of all me. We both came into this knowing it was going to be tough, but as soon as we hit a snag, you give up. You don't see the point in trying anymore and quit. I say things you obviously don't like and disagree with, so you turn it around on to me and point out EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING you can think of that you HATE about me. You HATE me."

He said, "You and I are two totally different people. I came back because I thought I needed you, and I found out that I don't. I DON'T NEED YOU." I said, "You don't HAVE to need me, but you ought to feel to some extent that you WANT me." H said, "I DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU......I go to work as much as I do to get away from you." I said, "I am not the only one here. The kids are here, too, and they want to spend time with you." He said, "I do when I can, but that's not very much because I don't want to be around YOU........So what do you want to do? Tell me so I know what to prepare for?" I said, "Why is it when we get to this point, that you always ask me the same question? According to you, you are so completely miserable being around me, my presence and attitude disgusts you, yet you leave it up to me as to what the next move should be." H said, "Ok, you want my decision?! Give me the kids! Full custody!"

He is OUT OF HIS MIND!!!! NO WAY!!!!! He is MORE THAN WELCOME to see them WHENEVER he would like, he is their father, but there is NO WAY I would EVER turn over full custody to him! NEVER! The last thing I want is for my boys is to grow up, living with H, thinking it's alright to treat people the way that he does! At least I know that being with me (and yes, my parents until I can get us a place of our own), they will have emotional and mental stability in their lives! There is NOTHING stable about this man OTHER than money!

I love them just as much as he does, but...and I hate that I'm saying this.....I honestly think the reason why he wants full custody is so that he won't have to fork over a dime to us!!! He does not want to lose that part of control he's had from day one. TOO FREAKIN' BAD!!!!

JERK!!!

....................*SIGH*......................

Things are about to get reeeeeeeeeeal ugly, I just know it. \:\(

BTW, he also asked me if I thought he should get into the AA program through his employer....because I really do believe he's got a problem. He doesn't drink everyday because he works so much, but when he's not, he pretty much drowns himself in beer because he wants "to pass out". I think there's a LOT more to it than just that.

Anyway I said yes, I thought he should (knowing what was coming). He asked me why, and I said because I believe it's something that should be looked into, preferably by professionals who have experience in this area. "You're so f'ing stupid and out of your mind. You have NO IDEA what you're talking about. Ha! Yeah! Let me go and join this program so (refinery) can say, 'Uh oh! Gotta let (H) go!' What are we gonna do then, (GF)?!! What are YOU going to do when you don't get any money from me??!!!!" I said, "Well that would suck, wouldn't it? But I know with my family's support, LOVE, and encouragement, I will be able to make something of myself for me and the boys." H's response, "Yeah, Mommy and Daddy will take care of you, and everything will be ok. You'll all be happy and,"........blah blah blah.

I don't know if he's being genuine or just trying to prove something (to me or himself), but he's out with the boys right now. They wanted to see "Speed Racer", so that's where they are. I was not invited, of course, but I didn't expect that either.

This is so bad. I think back to when things were good.....and I can't believe this is the same person who always told me how much he loved me, that felt I was his 'soulmate'. The one who couldn't wait to take me out on the weekends when we had a sitter or who wanted to enjoy a ballgame with me. With ME.

He and I still share many of the same interests.....I KNOW we do......but he sees differently. He doesn't see that we do still have that. I just know in my heart that if he tried to reconnect with me in some of those things, it could be better. I just KNOW it could.

But maybe he's right. He's not happy with me, probably won't ever be, and maybe I would be happier without him.

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell