in limbo and an emotional mess...

[MAZ]

sugar, the friends thing as hard as it is at least keeps them communicating in some way and lets me know anyway that he is still comfortable talking to me, it does bother me that he doesn't seem to think it hurts me though,,what bothers me more is when we are having a conversation about us and she calls, which she does constantly, he will not only sit and talk to her but say "I love you" to her when he hangs up right in front of me... I feel like there is no respect for my feelings, and clearly get upset, is it too much to ask that you don't say it in front of me at least,, especially when he says the same thing to me when he leaves or gets off the phone with me,, only difference is she is not with him when he says it to me. I have not sought any C yet but I have advised my sons school as to what is going on as they have programs and people he can talk to about these kinds of things,,although he tells me he will not talk to anyone but me right now. My neighbor is a divorced single dad and told him if he ever needs to talk he can come on over so there are others besides me he can talk to as well. He will not talk to his father right now about this as he is too angry about the whole situation. As far as what I want and need, I want to "fix" everything, I know I can't do it alone and unless H wants to and actually makes an effort I don't know if I can, I am still at the point where I want him to come home and work on our marriage and not rip our family apart. My fear though is that even if he does he will not stop having contact with the OW, over the last few weeks I have found out that this was going on for years - i know this isn't about me though, right now my kids are the most important thing, they both play baseball and I enjoy being at every game and watching them play, that at least keeps me busy for a while, I am always there for them but they know when I am hurting even if I am having a good day.

I noticed that your info says that the OW in your situation is pregnant,,,I am so sorry about that,,, that is my fear in my situation as well.... I so much as told H that it is going to happen, right now that is the only thing she can do to guarantee that he won't go anywhere,, as I said in an earlier post, she has nothing to offer him except the time that I couldn't because I am at work, see he works mostly nights and I work days so his days were always free and he spends them with her most of the time. her boyfriend kicked her out when he found out about this so she is living in a shelter and my H is going to be her way out one way or another, this is going to get very complicated I fear and I don't think H even realizes what she is doing