I know this hurts but I am glad you are working to give up trying to control this. You simply cannot fix anyone else--- much less someone who doesn't want to be fixed in the first place!
My goal for myself is to live in the "now." I don't allow myself to think back to what I could have done differently nor to look ahead to holidays and such possibly without ex-H. I just do what I can with what I have each day. Otherwise, I would go crazy and jump right back into that controlling mode that I lived in for so long.
Take care-- do something nice for yourself this weekend.
