in limbo and an emotional mess...

[MAZ]

I'm sorry to hear about your wife as well Puppy Dog, I don't know what goes through their heads. This is very hard, and I fear what our kids are going through as well. I try not to let them see me upset and my 15 year old is really resenting his father for doing this and has told me numerous times that if he ever sees the OW he will hurt her, I have told H that his grades have seriously slipped in school, and I am worried about him letting this get to him. I told my son not to let what is going on drag him down, that he is a better person than that and that I am here to talk to but in that regard he is like his father, keeps things bottled up inside.

As far as who else knows about the affair at this point a lot of people as he has been letting her use his car, he has brought her to his mothers (who does not approve of the whole situation), and many people in town as he is involved in the town fire dept. and ambulance companies. The OW is not married, however did have a boyfriend who was also my H best friend for about 20 years, she had done this to her boyfriend many times in the past, and also has a son from the last time she did this with someone else, essentially she has "nothing" to offer, no job, no skills, nothing except the time she gave him due to the fact that she doesn't work so her days were free while I was working. As far as getting him to give her up, I have tried to be nothing but a friend to him, to be there to talk to, and just let him know that I do love him and I don't want to see him throw away 20 years and our family only to figure out when its too late what he lost. I dont' feel like he is trying, she monopolizes every minute of every day that she can which doesn't even give him a chance to think about his family and he lets her which is more disturbing. So I agree,, as long as she is in his face 24/7 he can't see anything except this fantasy world with her, a world where I can't see how it can work for them.