I think you may have misunderstood ACJ. I don't think she was saying there was anything you could do FOR your H to help him through this, but rather something you could do for YOURSELF and help your kids to do to make home life smoother.
Yes, your H has to work on himself with God's help. No, there is nothing you can do to help him through his journey, but there ARE things you can do.
I do not believe that God wants us to be passive in our situations. I think he wants us to follow his directions, but most times that involves DOING something other than merely praying.
Last time your H came home he complained about the money and about the kids not helping out around the house etc. Maybe now, while he's gone would be a good time to work some of those problems out.
I realize getting teenagers on board is not an easy task, but it is doable. Ask for some help from someone that has experience with teens and getting them to help out. Develop a household plan to make things run more smoothly that they help with and agree with.
See if there is something you can do from home to make extra money. I take surveys on the internet. Sounds hokey, but I can make about $100 or so a month for an hour or less a day. Not much, but it does come in handy and I never have to go anywhere to do it.
I think that's what ACJ meant. Figure out YOUR life. Let your husband be. Continue to pray for him. All those things are good, but don't be totally passive about your situation. Your H gave you some good stuff while he was home of things he would like to see. Yes, right now he's in "blame" mode and nothing will satisfy him, but maybe when he comes back and he's done with his journey, your efforts to meet some of his needs will go a LONG way toward restoration.
Figure out YOUR part in this marriage and what YOU can do to make it easier and do that. Let God work on your husband and let God help you work on yourself.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
