Steelers Fan-H Left After 5 Weeks Pt. 2

[SirPrizeMe]

I believe that, SF, I believe that guilt can prevent people from taking a good path.

In my own situation I struggle with that question - how can I make this easier for her?

Some odd comments from her over the months:

- "you don't think I deserve my life". This was the day after mother's day, I had given her some nice gifts with the kids. She spoke with anger and accusation in her voice.

- When we first separated she suggested that I go and have an affair. "It's your turn." Almost like that would even the score. This struck me as really weird - I didn't see how it would help me get closer to my wife, so I recoiled from the idea. I didn't verbally reject it, but I told her I was not interested in an affair, I was interested in monogamy. She was upset by this. The way it played out seemed to just pushed her guilt buttons. I didn't intend it but that's what happened I think.

- At one point later she accused me of being unfaithful during our marriage. She asked me 6 different ways if I had slept with someone else during our marriage. I kept telling her NO. In the end she was reluctant to believe me. She said "Well I know you wouldn't lie about this. But I still don't trust you." It was surreal. She didn't trust ME? After all her secret phone calling cards and secret email accounts? I think her women's support group has her convinced that I fit into a pattern - I am an abuser - and 98% of the time abusers also are unfaithful.


So far the best I have come up with is to go on with my life. In the beginning I think her guilt was accentuated by my personal hurt. When I showed that I was hurt (not on purpose, but hey, I was hurt, it comes out) she felt more guilty.

So at this point if I can just go and live my life as well as I can, maybe we can put this behind us. Maybe the guilt goes away over time.

I'm interested in other ideas...