I divorced in 1994 (came to DB 2 relationships later). I can tell you I can feel the stress in your posts like it was yesterday. And I can tell you it gets better. Not quickly. But it really does get better. For YOU. He probably will not last forever with the homewrecker. Your kids will always know who you are and what you stand for and that you are the one there for them. They know where their 'safe place' is....with YOU.
It will take awhile, but you will find some incredible joys as well in this path. I pray he comes to his senses sooner rather than later.
But you will get your REWARD.
peace and all good, sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001