How do they walk away?

[theotherhalf]

Gosh Treese, it is so hard to read your thread. It's like reading my life in a book. I understand so well. I hurt for you and your family as I do my own.

I have no advice.

All I can say is everyone is right...we have to find the way to let go of these men and start living for us...

I have no idea how to get there...

I do know that our hearts and our heads have to be insink and right now, my heart is running the show...

hugs and support go out to you Treese. Keep telling yourself that "I don't deserve this" "I deserve so much better".
((((Treese))))
Luv,
TOH

[Treese]

NLT;

Thanks.....and I will read your thread...and...what?? the OW emailed you....OMG....I would have went through the roof...my H's OW knows to stay clear away from me....at this point in my life I would probably hurt her and I don't want to be that person...

The lonliness is what is taking it's toll on me right now...my H and I were very close also...he was my best friend but now he has a new best friend...who he confides all of our business with...after all they will be sharing a life together...

I too have a hard time getting out of bed....but I have to go to work....3 more weeks and I'm off for the summer....I'm lucky there...working in the schools....

thanks for stopping by and I can't wait to read your thread...

(((hugs)))

Treese

[Treese]

Hi Sir;

I hope you are doing okay...haven't talked to you in a while..

First let me clarify something....I would never have my daughter choose sides....she was a daddy's girl all these years...she feel betrayed just like I do but for different reasons...I talked to her just yesterday and told her not to let mine and her dad's relationship determine her's and her dad's....that I know her dad loves her....
But...it's up to her....she is almost 16 and very mature...she understands what happened and is having a hard time dealing with why her dad chose to have an A number one and then got another woman pregnant....that is a lot to throw at a 16 year old....he also in the same conversation told her that he had a girlfriend that she was a good person and he hasn't loved me for years....now...I can't even handle that so I don't expect her to.. I really don't talk much about H in front of her....we try to talk about other things...I also told her that NO ONE is perfect....that we ALL make mistakes....she actually thinks I took too good of care of him and he couldn't handle it...probably not the case but it's what she feels right now...I told my H that it is going to take some time that he would just have to wait it out....(kind of what I am doing with him) and see what happens...whatever happens....she will NEVER forget that conversation....it will fade but the respect she has for him has been damaged....I respect BOTH my girls and I stand by them in everything they do....only time will tell....one day it will all be okay....

It really isnt' bothering H much though...he still goes and does his thing...he really doesn't care...that's just less time he has to spend here....I would be crying....I couldn't handle my children not talking to me....it would really hit the core....my children are number one no matter what....

So, How are you doing???


Treese

[Treese]

TOH;

How are you? I haven't talked to you in a while...Isn't it funny how so many of us have the same story....

YEs, we do need to let go and live for us....Yellowrose is awesome...kind of been hanging out there picking her brain since her H is home now...

Do I think my H is MLC? Sometimes, but more no than yes....I kind of wish it was because I would have more hope....

And we do deserve better, much better....I did tell my H that once and he said, "I know"...that was it...never another word about it...Now he just acts like the world is his and he is the happiest person on this earth.....bone chilling...

I wish I could talk to you....if you have dryheats email or Jeanettes they have my email and you could get it from them...I would love to talk to you....

Take care

Terisa

[sgctxok]

(((Treese)))

I divorced in 1994 (came to DB 2 relationships later). I can tell you I can feel the stress in your posts like it was yesterday. And I can tell you it gets better. Not quickly. But it really does get better. For YOU. He probably will not last forever with the homewrecker. Your kids will always know who you are and what you stand for and that you are the one there for them. They know where their 'safe place' is....with YOU.


It will take awhile, but you will find some incredible joys as well in this path. I pray he comes to his senses sooner rather than later.

But you will get your REWARD.

peace and all good,
sg

[happynow]

Treese,

Yes, I know what you mean about the lonliness!!!! It is taking a toll on me also. I'm with you, he is sharing secrets with OW & we shared everything together!!!! So many things that we did together that we said we had never done with anyone else.

I miss him so bad!!!!

I really don't have any advice for you. I just wanted to let you know I'm here for you as is everyone else.

[Treese]

SGCTXOK;


Thanks for stopping by...yes it is hard right now...the missing him is the worst...

This past week he has become more distant and less contact with the kids....

Sometimes I wish he would feel some of this pain...he sure seems happy...

[Virtually_Handsome]

Sometimes I wish he would feel some of this pain...he sure seems happy...

(((((Treese)))))

Maybe he is happy, but I have to think part of him can't be. He isn't going to show you that.

BUT!
Please stop worrying about him, and what he is showing! Focus on YOU! PLEASE!

[Virtually_Handsome]

To avoid hijacking yr's thread:

Hi YR

I was reading on another thread....what is an exit affair? Is that an affair to get out of the relationship for good so they try to get you angry so you will say your done?

I chaperoned prom last night...it was fun...and the kids love me...makes me feel good...there is where I get my hugs...H called my phone last night....s10 had called to tell him he won his games (I coached, thank you very much)...so H was probably trying to call him...but he called my phone first and then he called the house...I did not answer or call him back....son answered at home while I was gone and he talked to H...I"m proud of myself for not calling back...

Anyway, another weekend gone by....

Coach Treese! Cool!

And good job not calling back. You are doing better!

My understanding is that an exit affair is pretty much what you said. They have decided they want out, so they have an affair to give the justification.

(((((Treese)))))

[Treese]

Thanks for all the information all....it helps....

I was just watching a tape my mom gave me from Dr. Phil..don't know if anyone else saw it but it was a wife who was having an affair with another married man....a friend of theirs...OMG, so much like my sitch...I felt like they were talking about my life...I was crying watching it...

Everything said was so true....both the wife and the other man both say that the children won't be affected...that maybe up front they will but long term they will not and Dr. Phil was all over that....he even told the wife that she needs to finish the first relationship BEFORE she can have another.....that she has history with her H and that she never gave her H and her M a chance that it deserved...that she IMMEDIATELY NEEDS to end the A and concentrate on her M for a period of time and if it doesn't work out then end it but BEFORE she continues with a new one....

He also bet everything he had that the A relationship would not be in 5 years.....WOW!! I know I can't give this tape to H but geez, he needs to see it...it is affecting my children and he is in his lala land thinking it will all be okay..

Oh,,,,and funny but the wife having the affair....well, her mom was divorced 4 times....and she said it won't affect her children..there is proof....

So, I thought I'd share...and now I'm off to coach again...LOL!!
Semi-final game...hope we win....I think I'm going to get coach of the year...NOT! LOL

Treese