Originally Posted By: phbear316
Hi SG

Long time no hear from, hope all is well.

SG its time for me to change, I don't know what else to do with H. I feel I have dropped the rope, doing more and more for me. I feel i am stepping back and looking at this whole thing. I know if he wishes like i do to work on this marriage, work has to and must be done to build a new marriage. If i am to wait and wait and wait for h, to just keep going in the direction he is moving onto. I will be in a old dark cold terrible place which I feel as of late I have gotten out of.

I Have been doing some as i call them 30, 60, 90's moving towards the 180's I am doing more for me, trying to find my happy place. If h sees these changes great, if he does not think they are good enough for him so be it. They are good for me. And me is who i have to worry about now

I am leaving the door open for is return, time will tell if he decides to walk back into it

hugs
bear



In my heart I do not believe your H will last with OW. And I truly believe his real happiness would lie with you.

If you really wanted to have the marriage of your dreams, though, you will need to be willing to really assess what he really sees in her, and it's more than the kids. You have a disdain for his desire to move up, to be seen as more. You see it as shallow.

Yet...that's important to him.

If you embrace that, honor it, work towards that, to fulfilling his heart, he will love you with a 'to die for you' love, most likely.

You never mention what she looks like (that I've seen). I don't have a sense that that is important. You have improved your appearance. I have an underlying suspicion that a sense of style is important here. And I'll bet you're not willing to play that 'game'. Correct me if I'm wrong. But to fill his heart, you will need to not judge that it fills his heart, but be willing to fill it.

He's not going to fill your heart first. He SHOULD. He won't.

But you still have time.

I want that happiness for you. I believe you're the best person for the job.

sg

Last edited by sgctxok; 05/16/08 03:05 AM.
sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001