No Codes, Karen. This is the whole gist of the marital rewrite waywards go through. Because if the marriage was good, how can they reconcile what they have done? Because if the marriage was good (or even Ok), that would mean THEY are the one's who F'd up, and we all know, waywards don't do that, it's everyone else's fault. They try to pick fights with you to confirm how they've come to view the marriage.
The trick is to not play the game. It's hard, trust me I know, but even if you marriage doesn't work, at least we'll be able to look ourselves in the mirror and LIKE who we see looking back.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.