Count down to separation - so we can "try".

[Abbey]

I don’t even know how to quite feel at the moment. For him to keep continuing to try to hide his stupid affair is 2 fold... to make himself look “good” – which isn’t working out quite like he’s planned... word has it he’s become quite the laughing stock in that little Paton Place community ... and of course is for her benefit (27, married with four kids under 10) – which her husband from all accounts knows about this too. What leaves me shaking my head is how this someone like her could be considered any form of UPGRADE *vomit*

I get she’s looking for a sugar daddy,... and he’s looking for validation for how misunderstood and un-alive he feels and all that other bull-oney.

So... Now, I sit back and wait. I just simply don’t know if I really want this a/h in my life anymore. The lies, lies, LIES and how that’s impacted my own health and mental anguish over the last 4 months, I dunno. Maybe time will make me feel differently and deep down I do love him, but this IS NOT the kind of person I want in my life. There’s just no room left in my heart for this kind of pain.

Do people like him actually come back around and change? He’s a bailer... can’t handle emotional tough work, and will lie and cheat his way through whatever he needs to to get what he wants (clearly)... Is some like this ever trust worthy... can turn around and BE trust worthy? I’m seriously beginning to doubt it. I’ve really began to seriously doubt if he ever was faithful to me before this.... ever.

There’s even a part of me who wants to “get him back”... just to dump him on his fool head. Just such a waste of energy. *sad smile*

Abbey