Where do...I...go from here?

[tpaschal]

THIS IS NOT A 'DB' RESPONSE.

This is my personal experience: I really got screwed financially by putting my house on the market BEFORE the divorce was over. (I came here 2 relationships post-divorce). Then, all of the money was tied in escrow for 3 years while we tried to finish the settlement. Then the lawyer took most of it. Do not let any lawyers hold any escrow. Get a third party. Get all financial agreements with your lawyer in writing. Do not believe that they will be able to make your H pay their fee.

Well, what I would like to actually do---understanding that I don't REALLY WANT to do any of this, but if I'm going to make the best of the worst case scenario---what I hope is that we can put the house on the market now, H and I will use the proceeds to buy a house for me and the kids, then and only then will I sign the D papers. (Of course, the judge may not go for this, but I plan on asking for it.)

The reason I would like to do it this way is:
1. It could potentially put the final D further out, depending on how long it took to sell the house. I do still see time as working in my favor.

2. I have a friend who is a mortgage writer. She says that because I've been out of the work force for so long and have no income, I will not qualify for anything on my own, unless I could pay the entire asking price of a house in cash. H will HAVE to have the mortgage in his name, for a while, anyway. If the house doesn't sell until AFTER the D is final, H may have already bought a house for himself and the bimbo, or buy himself a fancy new sports car, or just go further into consumer debt, which could prevent him from qualifying for a home loan for me and the kids.

Also, if we can get me and the kids into a home BEFORE the D is final, the lawyers won't be able to get their hands on any cash profit we would make from the sale of the house. H and I have an agreement (which has yet to be put in writing, but I do think that H will agree for it to be put in writing) that any profits from the sale of the house will go into a joint account or joint trust that needs both of our signature to withdraw, and then will go straight into buying a new house for me and the kids. Need to get a new lawyer on that ASAP.

If I wait until after the D is final to sell the house, then yes, I would get any profits made, but I would also be responsible for the upkeep, the repairs, the insurance, and the taxes, (which are ASTRONOMICAL on a house this big), and if it took a long time to sell, it could easily go into foreclosure.

It's a lot to consider.