The decision is made

[ACJ]

S15 spent some time at our house yesterday. He originally came to see his friends,which is fine, but then came in fairly early to use the computer. I had gone to the supermarket when he came in but as I was cooking for me and D12 after that I asked if he had eaten and he said only a bit of bread and jam (from my cupboard of course ) so I fed him as well.

While were sitting eating he told me that H and OW are going away for a few days in a couple of weeks time. It's actually during the next school holidays and very close to D12s birthday. S15 said 'Please can I come and stay here while they are away Mum?' With tears in my eyes I said 'Of course you can, you know you can stay here whenever you want to.'

It turns out they are going to Czech Republic (again) for OWs brother's wedding. I asked S15 if the reason he wasn't going was b/c he hadn't been invited. He said he had been invited but didn't want to go. I asked if there was a specific reason why. He said no but then a few minutes later told me that during the time H will be away there is a party on that he wants to go to so I suspect that is the real reason.

I knew from the way he described it that this 'party' would more than likely be an under 18s night in a nightclub in town (as they always are). So I told him that I was ok with him going to the party but he had to understand that once we had negotiated what time he was to be home by he had to stick to it. I told him that H has reported back to me how there have been no problems about him coming in late and that if he could do it at Hs house then he could do it here. I was honest and I said I wouldn't stand for being disrepected again (which is what led to him living at Hs in the first place). He looked rather sheepish but reluctantly agreed. Time will tell if history repeats itself or not.

I am really worried about D12. She hardly eats anything, is terribly offhand with everybody (probably b/c she doesn't eat) and clearly doesn't feel very valued and loved right now (despite my best efforts).

When I took S15 home I asked him to get H to come to the car to speak to me so I could discuss D12 with him. Unfortunately he was in the bath!

By the time I was home H had miraculously got out of the bath and was speaking to D12 on the phone. I had previously asked him to keep an eye on her next Tuesday as I have to go to my uncle's funeral. I had sent him an email telling him that actually due to the timing of the funeral I should be able to go and come back without it being any different to when I am at work. Anyway he was trying to sort something out with D12. She gave the phone to me and when I explained about the email he said he won't be in the office until Friday (so more time off, not seeing his kids). He then asked what I wanted to speak to him about. I asked him to call me back on my mobile so that I could speak to him in private (This didn't go down very well with D12 who was listening).

He did phone back and I sat in my car to speak to him. I told him how unhappy D12 was. I said we BOTH needed to ensure that we were trying to do something about this. I said she needs to see you more H but before she can even begin to think about being on good terms with OW she needs to rebuild a R with you. I said I couldn't guarantee that she would ever be comfortable with OW but she was missing her dad and it was having a detrimental effect on her. I expected him to spew a load of venom but he didn't. He just said ok lieave it with me. As we hung up I had to stop myself from telling him ILY. I don't even know where it came from, it was just there.

I was cross with myself afterwards b/c whilst stifling the ILY I forgot to ask him about the dates he will be away (as S15 wasn't sure). So I still don't exactly when to expect S15 but it looks like H has no intention of speaking to me himself about it.