(((Kalni))) (((One Day))) (((T))) and (stella_k)))
Thanks guys for checking up on me!
Last night was good. Two good positives. The best was that I saw him, and he left and I was totally OK. Didn't agonize over everything I said or he said. Definitely felt detached. The other positive was that he hugged me when he saw me. The best part of that is that he is making an effort to be my friend, and for us not to be so weird. The hug was nice - like the hug you give an old friend. We also seemed to talk OK, and I noticed that we were both smiling lots at each other.
So H arrived, hugged me, we chatted, I showed him the bathroom, we discussed bathroom stuff. When we talking about the shower H mentioned his mum's shower which is small..... but I was thinking how we had showered in it together (to save water ;)), and I was brave and thought what would OD do.... so I said something about how I needed to make sure that this shower was big enough for 2. But H ignored it, or didnt get it!! ha ha!! My attempt at flirting... but maybe it was too much!! Then my dad arrived and we talked bathroom stuff more, and then H and dad discussed other building stuff outside without me, and then H left. Apparently he called out goodbye to me, but I didn't hear him. I kind of think it was OK, because I know it left me wanting to spend more time chatting with H, and I'm going to assume that H wanted to top, but couldn't because Dad was there. And I think that that's good - leave him wanting more.
So my game plan is now to wait and see if H can think of an excuse to contact me. Otherwise it will be 2-3 weeks before he starts the building work. Its probably weirder for him to be back in our home, than it is for me.
You know I'm just really happy that if we are going to divorce we can divorce as friends. I still hope that we can create a new relationship. But if nothing else I'm so glad I found DB because otherwise there is NO WAY I would be able to be friends with H. And being friends with H is more than enough for me. Detaching has been so key for me.
