I tell you, I relied very heavily on friends in ways I had not done previously, when I was feeling really down. And my true friends really stepped up for me. Both women and men, in different ways. Is there someone you can confide in and get some practical support from? Like grass cutting or car pooling or whatever. Just something to ease the burden a little?
About your 15-yr old; I like what Jack had to say. It's unfortunate for the younguns. But you wouldn't want to force the choice. If I had a 15 yr old I would probably be saying things like, look , you will only ever have one father and mother. And both of them will do things you don't like at different times. Just like you will do things they don't like. But they're still family. You don't have to love them all the time, it's ok to be angry at them. But not forever, please?
looking back, my wife was angry at her father for all of her teenage years. Her parents divorced when she was 6 (guess what! my youngest daughte is now 6 yrs old). I would guess, but I have no way of knowing, that W's mother demonized W's father. My wife hated her father, though it was her mother who had the affair and refused to reconcile.
That's no way for a young girl to be - hating one of her parents. Actually I think that distress contributed to W's propensity to do what she's currently doing.
Of course your daughtger is 15, so she will make her own judgments, and they must be respected. But I'd hope that she would also consider that people are imperfect.
