I've not been on the boards much lately. I've been GAL and working, making my way.
When I first posted here, oh so long ago, I thought I would be one of the reconciled Ms and if I wasn't I might just die. Well neither one of those things happened.
I tried for a very, very long time to save my M. It wasn't meant to be. My X walked out the door and never looked back. We were friendly, then not so friendly, then he turned evil, then not so friendly and finally he is nice again. I hope it stays this way, but I'm not holding my breath.
We have worked out all the D issues and have signed all the papers. I don't know if it is final yet, waiting to get the court issued decree. I have to say by the time the end rolled around I was just ready to be done with it all. Once the papers were signed X came around to being nice again,chatty even. Strange how the D seems to have lifted a weight off of him.
For those of you that followed my sitch, X now has a job, thank God. No, he hasn't seen the kids since early February but they are going to visit him in NJ for 2 weeks this summer. He is entitled to 4 weeks but is only taking 2. Typical for him. I'm happy, I get my babies back sooner.
I have/had a job that I didn't really like. I found out today that I got a new job, working with one of my best friends, with a set schedule (the old job didn't have a set schedule) and it pays $20K/year more. I start on Monday!! I do feel bad because I called after work today and told my old company I wasn't coming back (I have to go do some stuff for the new job) and got reemed for 20 minutes on the phone about what a poor choice not to give 2 weeks notice and how I will have a bad work record because of it. Sigh. I do feel guilty but I have to take care of my kids and myself and this is a permanent job with benefits, not a temp one without. And I had to start Monday or they give it to someone else. So I guess there will be some bad karma somewhere.
Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I am happy and at peace. (except the no 2 wks notice thing) The kids are doing well, my friends and I are having a blast with and without our kids.
The turn my life took is not one that I ever wanted. Along the way I learned so much about myself. I am stronger than I ever thought I was, I learned to let go, to choose my battles and to be grateful for all I have and to be independent. I am learning forgiveness, I think that is something that will take a long while, but I am trying.
The Hell you are dragged through with MLC is so miserable yet you grow empowered as you wade through. As you detach yourself from the madness you settle into yourself and that is priceless.
My story is not a DB success, but it is a success in surviving.
I read lots on the boards and my heart aches for all the pain we all have to go through, especially the kids. My prayers are with you all.
