There and Back, up and walking #1

[SallyM]

thanks so much, saffie! I agree about the eggshells. hell no. no way. I won't go into piecing like that, if that is where we are headed. open communication and real MC (as opposed to that sham half hearted attempt h gave it last time) will be my chosen path.

nikki, I appreciate what you are saying and I hope to be some inspiration, if only that you can make it thru. It can be a loooong process though. but I think dropping the rope, getting on with your life, are things that really helped me. and counseling. and you all here. when I first started counseling I asked my friend (a therapist, not my therapist) how long she thought it would take. when she mentioned likely a year, I was shocked, and horrified and said hell no way. but she was so right, and I'm not done yet, and omg, I love my therapy so much. it seemed like forever to put a time on it like that, but it seems like a moment in a way now that I have been in it for so long. I guess my point is for any newcomers that do read is take it day by day, dont try to put that time on it or it will seem far too overwhelming.

okay, now for tonight, when h got here I left and went to the gym...he seemed bummed a bit that I was leaving, not sure if he wanted the time with me or if he was worried that he did something offputting while here. he asked if he did something, if he was in my way when he was here this morning. I was honest...said not at all, just funny when you have a routine down and I can tell we've been apart for a long time because I'm not used to moving around someone. he understood what I was saying.

can I mention here that a year ago (or more) if he had done something to bother me, I never would have said so? seriously. I would have bottled it up...so bad at communication then. if he had this time, I would have talked to him about it. such a nice difference. and omg, gives me so much hope for any future relationship I have, with or without him.

anyway, he said he got a local hotel room for a couple of nights because he didn't think it was wise for him to keep staying here, and he laughed and said "not that its a possibility." which is isn't right now. but oh how nice it was to be on the same page.

now I just need to hope that he is working on himself finally. that this time alone will be productive for him.

and that he remembered to ask if they had a AAA discount.

lol.