I'm not telling you to wait for "years" for her.... You mentioned that you didn't plan on dating or remarrying for at least a good long while.... so I took at that you don't plan to seriously date while you have kids around and you don't plan to foist some step-parent on your kids.
Never WAIT on an ex-wife. She's history... I'm just saying that if you are not planning to date... there's no need to bolt the door shut. In other words, if she knocked at the door and was interested in coming in to take a look. Why not? If you are detached and don't expect anything from her you you have nothing to lose, and you may even gain a friend.... and gosh, if friendship occurs you can always go very slowly and see where it leads. I hope that makes sense.
I don't think her moving away is so bad. You won't have to worry about shelping the kids back and forth every week or weekend and you don't have to worry what guys or relationships she's exposing the kids to. This would help ensure you'd get more custody.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
