LOL! I figured you all would say that, but I just wanted to ask because I am weak at times and need the reassurance that I was doing the right things.
So H actually called me today. He wanted to know a few things from me such as when his cell phone bill is due and also the schedule for the classes he is taking that start on Monday. I gave him the information he wanted and he thanked me. He also said that he needs to set a time with me so that he can come over and get some more clothes. I told him that would be fine, just let me know. I wasn't going to be home at all tomorrow, so that wouldn't work but any other day would be fine, just let me know because I am busy. I told him that I had his dirty clothes here and he didn't seem concerned too much. He asked me if I had changed the locks. I did not directly answer his question.
He chatted a little bit askign me about work and things. I told him about the Botanitcal Gardens. I did not ask him about where he was staying, the OW or anything else in that topic. I tried my best to sound upbeat and fun.
I think it went well. He sounded sort of sad. He said that he would call me again and we could get a time for him to get those clothes.
I actually feel good about the conversation. My Dad just invited to to dinner and I am taking him up on the offer. I just hope he doesn't ask me a bunch of questions. I know from my mom that he thinks I need to get things rolling with a lawyer. I don't want that right now. Last time he talked to me about these things I felt like crap after the conversation...I dont' want that again...
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
(((Sara))) I know what you mean, my dad pulled the same thing on me. If he brings it up, perhaps you can just say "I'm handling it" or "I don't want to talk about that tonight"?
Sounds like a good convo with H. I am glad he sounds a bit lonely and lost. Hopefully he is thinking!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
See, Sara, it all has a way of working out. This time last week you were worried he'd call the cops and you'd get in trouble for asking him to leave until he figures out how to behave like a married man and today you're able to talk to him doing your best to sound upbeat and fun. You've come such a long way from just last week.
I'm very impressed with you.
=)
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Sara, listen to the sweet girlfromi...she is wise beyond her years. Your H has made his bed and now he has to sleep in it, its just a fact. He needs to get his head together and this is just what he needs and you sounding upbeat and fun is just an added bonus. You are doing really well and I am impressed as well. I need to visit here more often and start taking notes.
You could always just put his clothes in a bag and let him worry about washing them himself...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I am back from my Dad's. He didn't bring up the issues with my H at all. He did talk about my uncle's divorce (which has been going on for 2 long years), but nothing about me. He said that seeing me always brightens up his day. I don't spend enough time with my Dad, that is for sure.
H's dirty clothes has been sitting in a hamper on the back porch since Sunday. I told him that I would move the hamper to the garage because that is where his other stuff is. I am not concerned about them except just normal concern that he hasn't came to get the smelly socks! LOL
I wanted to let him be aware that since he has left, I haven't been sitting here pining over him. And I really haven't. Maybe a little bit now and then, but I have been working on doing the things I enjoy. Saturday night I had a nice time by myself watching "Rent" and eating Papa Johns pizza. Something if H was home I wouldn't have done because he doesn't like "Rent" and hates pizza from PJ's. I didn't tell him all that, just kept him guessing but let him know that I have plans and am having a nice time.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Sarah you are doing great...I have my notebook out!
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Sara, haven't been on in a few days, but glad to see you are in good shape. By the way, I totally agree with crying. Every once in awhile, we have a bad trigger, and need to let go of it somehow.
Keep up the good work, no texts/no calls. I don't know if its healthy or not, but in times like this, I remind myself of the horrible things H has done/said to me. This keeps me from calling him/texting him.
I did send him a text telling him the date that his cell phone bill was due (I didn't have that information when he called). He messaged me back a "thank you." But that will be all of the communication until he contacts me again.
Church tonight was interesting. The pastor was talking about people committing adultry against God and how God handles them. He gave the example of a man who knows his wife is having an affair and yet gives her money and lets her use the car to go off to New Orleans for the weekend with the OM. He said how that type of behavior is wrong and that God cannot tolerate an adultrous person. According to the text, he wasn't talking abotu cheating on your spouse, but other things. Still...the whole example and what the pastor said gave me peace that what I did was totally in God's will and in His word. As a believer that is important to me.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Church tonight was interesting. The pastor was talking about people committing adultry against God and how God handles them. He gave the example of a man who knows his wife is having an affair and yet gives her money and lets her use the car to go off to New Orleans for the weekend with the OM.
H has no contol, so let her go, there is nothing H can do about it. same for you and me, or should that be you and I, (teacher) Its in Gods hands, we can only work on ourselves, be the best person we can, love others and its in Gods hands,
Our priest does notice my W absent from church every Sunday, He sees me every Sunday with the 4 kids, I think he may want to talk to me about whats going on. He has asked before where W was at, at least that I had a good excuse, she was out of town.
Good night Sara, thinking of you
Jeff from St Louis South County
M45 W41 M10 years OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me Pa confirmed 03/08 no sex yet ?? Let me hope !!! W moving out June 1st - 18 days
