Hmm, inevitably he seems to bring up something about us, both before/when I come over, and then two days after. I guess I can try keeping them from becoming true conversations - in that I don't express my opinions or whatever, but just listen and validate and hopefully move on to a different subject. For some reason he feels obligated to bring OR up at those times, and I think it has to do with how he is working through his own feelings maybe?
Oh well, I guess I can spend the next week and a half mulling it over as it doesn't look like I'm going to see or speak to him for a while anyways!
I need to figure out a better schedule for myself next week. I am not getting enough sleep, not am I getting most of my reading done for class. But between work and school there are just not enough hours left in the day. Hopefully I can get some studying done in the car this weekend. Plus I need to actually work out at some point. I haven't in nearly a week. The only time I can think of it either before work or after class. After class actually seems the more feasible, but then there is less time to read and sleep! Yikes. 3 more weeks of this.
Last edited by MichelleLT; 05/14/0803:17 PM.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Michelle, I am sorry about the funeral. It is good that you are still going to go this weekend, you need to do that in order to say goodbye and have some closure.
Wow, your H is very confused. He is just back and forth. I would say NC is a good way to go for now. For whatever reason, he is seeing you as pressure no matter what you do. I think going to Retrouvaille in July may be a little ambitious. When is the one after that?
Not til October. And even then, on a weekend I may be down in AZ for military stuff. Of course, he may be out of state in July anyways. Who knows.
Yeah, he's very confused. I'm gonna leave him be until after this weekend and see if he calls/IMs/anything. Also give him a little peek at what it's like to not even have me to talk to (mostly meaning complain to lol) as we have been talking more regularly the last few weeks.
Re retro. Since I'll be out of state in October/November, I just feel a certain amount of pressure to do something. I can't wait til next summer. I can't do another year of this crap.
Last edited by MichelleLT; 05/14/0806:20 PM.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Glad you can go this weekend, although sorry about the funeral. Seems to me like those are almost always mid-week. I don't get that either.
About Retro: first, glad you posted that there's one in July! I'll have to look into that.
Second - the next LOCAL one might not be til October but are there some in other cities that you could go to? That might open up all kinds of possibilities and keep you from stressing too much about the date. I had looked into one in San Diego at one point. You can do the followup weekends with the local "chapter" even if you do the weekend somewhere else. Not sure how that would work if you're not back for awhile, but I'm sure that they would work with you to figure something out.
Is there one in AZ during the time you'll be there? Maybe H can fly down for the weekend? I've heard of people going to the followup weekends alone and video-taping it to watch with their spouse later if both of them can't make all the sessions, too.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Yeah, I was talking to my older brother, he can't go either even though he lives like 1 hr away because of work. He's a substitute teacher and can't get a sub for himself lol.
I will look around in like the Bay Area and such, but my H will be doing a lot of military stuff this summer and just won't be around. Which is sorta nice because he'll be gone a lot when OW comes back from England, which definitely makes me happy cuz she won't have many opportunities to try and see him.
However, it does make trying to work on this R much harder. Especially when he keeps changing his mind about whether he even wants to see me.
Unless things have DRASTICALLY improved by October, I can't see H flying down to see me in AZ when I will only be down there a month. I mean, not a lot of time for him to miss me first, and second, the whole money issue. He will still be trying to dig himself out of debt and I'm not inclined to really help him out much as he did it to himself.
At any rate, too far out to really predict anyways. We shall see.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Michelle sorry about the funeral, but it sounds like you will at least be able to see your family this weekend.
H sounds very conflicted and confused right now and I think backing off is your best bet. Do you have a link to the retro site you can post or just send me? I think it may be a bit ambitious for me too, but I'd like to look into it just the same.
Maybe some time by himself will help him to clear his head and make some dedisions about stuff, especially if he won't have OW around him...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
