still need to be here at times

[Yoyowife]

Didi,
Not being in your shoes it is hard to see that the OP becomes an addiction. This is what I have read so many times. I think like any other addiction it is something you have to try to overcome. I think as long as you are honest and let your H know that yes, you do still have feelings for the OM, but you are trying hard to get past them things will improve. Yes, it will be heartwrenching for you H to know this, but I think you have to to be honest with him.

I have a question for you. Before you decided to try to work things out with your H what were your feelings on any attempt of reconciliation with your H? So many different authors have different ideas. I'm going to list some of them let us all know your feelings on them.

These are from the LBS point of view:

1. They try to tell you how much they love you and you are destroying the marriage. In essence they are trying to lay a guilt trip on you.

2. The GAL method. THey are trying to be a better person not only for the WAS, but also themselves. The LBS is friendly and nice without making any demands on you. They wait for the addiction to subside. Patience is the key.

3. The tough love method. The LBS tells you that you must choose between them or the OP or they will leave.

Could you tell everyone what made you decide to go back to your H? Your point of view is important to everyone.