Hi I understand and appreciate what you are all saying and believe it or not I agree but...
I signed the documnets this morning. Yes, the document says we've been seperated for a year. Physically it's been 4 months but emotionally it's been much longer. Of course that doesn't mean it was the best thing legally to do but I felt I had to just let it go. H told me if I wanted we could wait a year but it wouldn't have made a difference because he said he isn't coming home. He says he can't. I thought why drag it out any longer. I'd rather mourn our M now than wait another 8 months.
I did tell him however that this is the last time I would manipulate a document or sign a manipulated document.
I think that for the M and R that I have with H to change for the better I have to let him go.
I know that we will continue to be friends and be there for each other. We still love each other. He told me Monday he loves me but this is for the best. If H ever comes back to our R it will be because he wants to not because he has to.
The papers are only signed right now and we still have to follow through with a couple of procedures including a visit by a state ordered Social Worker. It could be a couple weeks or months before the D is final.
I guess I'll stick around on this thread for a while longer.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
