Yes I saw it as a small crack in her armor as well. In her old office, she was only a few steps away from OM, but now she's on the other end of the building from him. That could end up working in my favor. She does feel like she'll be isolated and away from everyone she's grown close to and she is especially crushed by losing the classes she loved to teach - her American Lit courses.
Her boss is a witch and I know she's not a nice human. I'm a bit surprised, but not too surprised, that she chose to talk w/ me about these things and that she let her guard down and cried. I have to look at it as baby steps.
I spoke w/ my DB coach this morning and while I need to continue to do things for me, I also need to work on being more empowering and affirming to W. Even though my intentions are good, I'm coming across to W as trying to "rescue" her too much. In other words, it is coming across like I'm giving her advice and thus trying to control her when I say things like "you don't have to stay there if you don't want to." I've learned today I should instead say things like "This must be difficult for you b/c I know how hard you work and how much you value your friendships at work."
If I can do it the 2nd way, I'll take "ME" completely out of the equation. I need to refrain from using "I" in my conversations w/ her and instead focus on what she's doing, how she's feeling, and how it affects her. This is something I'm not good at and need to learn in this process as well.
Finally, as far as the badmouthing goes, I hope it doesn't go on in front of my D also, but unfortunately there isn't a thing I can do about it. The only thing I can do is be solid on my end and give D some balance. My DB coach said today that children have the most difficulty relating and talking w/ the parent they are the most emotionally unsure of being around. I'm hoping that isn't me, but I've got to make sure to attack any and every situation w/ this in mind. I have to make sure I set clear boundaries w/ D and be consistent so she won't feel unsure around me.
