Hi all...I am still plugging in here. I had a difficult time for about a half hour last night. For the first time since he left, I really cried. I just saw all of his books on the shelf and knowing that he wasn't around to read them just totally hit me and I bawled. But I really think that is a good thing for me to do because it does help in my healing.
The days are going by slowly. I am staying busy and doing things, but it just seems like everything has suddenly gone into slow motion. I am already dreading the weekend. My mom is going out of town from Friday-Sunday, so I won't have her around to rely on. I plan on going to see the Narnia movie on Friday night, but besides that I need to start thinking of things to do for the rest of the weekend. It would really be great if I had some friends in town...
I had a dream last night that I was stuck in an elevator. I wonder if that has some symbolic meaning behind it.
Well my first class should be here any minute now. We are reading the book, Nate the Great for the rest of the school year and I am excited to start reading it with the kids. We will be putting on a puppet show (one of my favorite things) on the last day. If it wasn't for work every day, I think I would go insane.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
(((Sara))) it gets better...I promise. I'm not saying its easy, it just gets easier to deal with.
Keep yourself busy and work on you and what you want and need. I know its hard, but it will come in time.
Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal. It is ok to cry. I can remember crying everyday...but I'm not anymore, it just takes time.
Let yourself enjoy your time alone. You can do what you want, eat what you want, when you want, watch what you want...and you have nobody to answer to. Enjoy it!
Yes, I do enjoy some of that. I lived alone for several years before I got married, so it is easy to get back into that mode now.
Surprisingly, I haven't been crying a whole lot. Just last night for about a half hour. I know people say that crying doesn't do any good, but I disagree. I think that sometimes crying helps release some of your feelings. Just over doing it is bad (like how I was in February).
I keep reminding myself that in time I WILL feel better. Time is just going by so slowly that it feels like it wont' happen. But I know in my mind that eventually I will be able to feel more like myself. My mom keeps saying how she can't believe how well I am holding up, and she doesn't even know everything.
I haven't heard from H at all today. That is okay. Tomorrow is the 15th, so I expect he will be contacting me to ask about his check. Do you think I should wait for him to contact me about it before I contact him?
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Ditto! If he doesn't, it's his problem. You are his W, not his mother.
Amen to that. Your H knows where to find you. If hes interested in the $$, he will contact you.
I still cry at times and its ok. It feels like a release for me. I need it after trying to hold things in and not say things that jump to the front of my mind when I am around H, that sometimes a good cry is like a do-over or a pressure relief valve. I have to let off some steam and then I am ready to take some more.
(((Sara)))
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
