Yep, I've read Mars/Venus...it's been awhile, might not hurt to dust it off and refresh some ideas. In all my spare time.
OW and significant other...yes, seems good. H says they're married, but their myspace pages say different. (I know, I know...bad place, but it's the max of snooping I'm doing now, and I feel the need to make sure she's off the radar every once in awhile.) I still don't like the whole 'friendly' thing they've all got going on. But, it's not anything I have control over, so I try to not let it bother me.
I feel the same way as you about counseling...but again, his feelings are beyond my control.
About the needy/approach thing, this is a toughie, but it seems that whatever you have been trying is a cheeseless tunnel. Might be a good area to experiment with some 180s. Sometimes it takes a while to find a 'win-win' scenario with the 180 concept, but I believe it's possible. Just takes a lot of thought.
I admire you for being willing to look at the hard stuff instead of just stuffing it and taking the 'easy' road. I think I tend to think just as you said:
Quote:
Time, patience, have always been good tools in DB. They are hard to use though. I get impatient. Maybe the lesson is in having patience and the answers won't come until I really understand how to let go, relax, and wait.
It is so easy to get impatient. But so far, this method seems to be paying off. Slow, steady, with some fine tuning here and there.
