Your feeling of sadness and grief are normal. YOU NEED to feel these emotions.
We are all reluctant students sweetie, but students we are and learning we do.
I wanted to copy this from your post on another thread and answer it here.
Quote:
You guys are talking about lawyers. How do you find a good one? I have been afraid to get a L because I didn't want to make H more angry. He wants to D "amicably" and go in together to file the papers without L. I said why would I do that when I don't even want a D? He accuses me of wanting to make things ugly. He's the one who started this! He says he wants to save the money, but I know what he thinks is reasonable in an agreement will not be what I think is fair - not that any of this is fair, but you know what I mean. My sister is a lawyer in another state and has told me I will get much more from a court decision than he is offering me. I don't talk to her very often because I am afraid of where she wants me to go with this. How do you balance staying friendly but not getting taken advantage of?
You need to have your own attorney. This is your future we are talking about. Do not let him convince you otherwise.
Do not be afraid to seek legal advice!! It's better to know what your up against when it gets to this point.
Do not trust what your H is saying. He is looking out for himself.
Let your H do all the work on the divorce if he wants to go that far. It's not what you want to do so let him do it.
How do you balance this out?
It's a hard one thats for sure, but you set your personal emotions aside and step into your business suit. If your H gets angry with you, simply say "I'm sorry you feel that way".
The needy feeling is natural also. Your scared, your unsure of whats happening, you don't know who your H is anymore. Spend time with friends, family and a support group that will guide/help you through this.
Keep in mind that he IS NOT your H right now.
Pray that oneday he returns.
You need to show him that you are a strong woman.
Sigh, I know this reads easy but it's not. I understand how hurt and scared you are.
Read the MLC resource thread at the top of the forum. It will help you trememdously in how to deal with your MLC'ing Spouse.
HUGS,
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
