I echo everyone on here... you don't deserve any 2x4s from anyone! The only thing I would say you don't want to disclose to your H is that the contact has got you thinking about OM a lot again. Just tell us...
I bet H will like knowing (I know I would) about the very proactive and deliberate way you replied to OM...will reinforce the feeling that y'all are a team about this.
I also really like GF's advice about any future contact from OM. Again, rebuilding trust in the R with your H; instead of hiding it, you are coming to him for advice in dealing with it. Very empowering for H, i would think.
Sending enormous amounts of respect and hugs your way for working so hard to build a new R with H and your family.
