Quack Quack...

[JenInVen]

I have the papers. They put in the document that we've already been seperated for a year but it's only been about 4 months. What should I do? Do I tell the Judge it's not true tomorrow and refuse to sign? Or do I go along with it and make h happy?

Jen

[cw68]

Do not lie under oath. Ever. For any reason.

The papers are not correct, you must not sign them. This is exactly why I questioned trusting your H's sister as your L.

[JenInVen]

That's what I thought too CW.

Thanks!

[cw68]

You might want to approach H personally before you call them out on it in court. I think it's more respectful. However, if he ignores you, tries to placate your or anything, then just stand up for yourself. "I believe there's a typo on this document. It says we've been separated for one year when it's only been about four months. I can't sign it until it's corrected."

[addie]

Jen,
I agree with CW's advice. Approach H with the error beforehand. Have you had your own L friend look them over before you sign tomorrow?

[JenInVen]

I guys. I'm going to sign the documents this morning. So this will be the last post for me here in Seperated. I'll move over to Divorced But Not Done when I get back.

Thanks for your support over the past few months. The truth is you guys are great. I hope none of you get to this point. I'll keep posting because a D isn't always the end it can also be a beginning. I still have hope.

Jen
Here is a letter I'm going to give H today.
********************************
Dear H

As you know I do not want this divorce but I will sign the documents because I want you to be happy and if the divorce will make you happier then I won’t stand in the way. I am signing this document to let you know that no matter what I want what is best for you.

I hope that we can move past this and be better people and parents to D and maybe become better friends along the way.

We’ve hurt each other over the past 10 years. But we’ve also had some very happy times. Please don’t stop remembering the good times because in the end they matter the most.

I love you very much and I know I didn’t let you know how I felt as much as I could have. I’m sorry for not being there when you needed someone to talk to and to listen to you. I’m sorry for not supporting you as you deserved to be supported. But most of all I’m sorry for not doing my part in the marriage and expecting you to fill voids that I realize now could only be filled by me.

The door to my heart will always be open to you because you will always be a part of me.

Love always
Jen

[cw68]

Your decision is your decision, but signing documents that you know are false is illegal. I hope that in the future, you don't allow your H to make you do illegal and/or unethical things. Trust me, I understand from where you are coming, but it's just not right.

[cw68]

Jen, this is bothering me more now. I hope that your H doesn't use this against you in the future. You know, threatening to use the fact that you knowingly signed false documents. It's a bully technique IMO.

[stella_k]

Jen, dearest, I guess it's too late to tell you that I second CW68's opinion. Did you sign it already?

Whether you've done it or not, God bless your loving, faithful and trusting heart!

Please tell us what's happening.

(((((((Jen))))))))

[JenInVen]

Hi I understand and appreciate what you are all saying and believe it or not I agree but...

I signed the documnets this morning. Yes, the document says we've been seperated for a year. Physically it's been 4 months but emotionally it's been much longer. Of course that doesn't mean it was the best thing legally to do but I felt I had to just let it go. H told me if I wanted we could wait a year but it wouldn't have made a difference because he said he isn't coming home. He says he can't. I thought why drag it out any longer. I'd rather mourn our M now than wait another 8 months.

I did tell him however that this is the last time I would manipulate a document or sign a manipulated document.

I think that for the M and R that I have with H to change for the better I have to let him go.

I know that we will continue to be friends and be there for each other. We still love each other. He told me Monday he loves me but this is for the best. If H ever comes back to our R it will be because he wants to not because he has to.

The papers are only signed right now and we still have to follow through with a couple of procedures including a visit by a state ordered Social Worker. It could be a couple weeks or months before the D is final.

I guess I'll stick around on this thread for a while longer.

Jen