Confused no longer - Give me the strength

[Snow White]

IOW, He is NOT happy with his choice to leave his family, but he will try anything to convince himself otherwise.

THis would be nice if this was the case. Too bad he is working so hard to convince himself though.

Clean the house. I know you are a working mom, so get help if you need it. Also from now on, be sure to check D's bag every afternoon after school and/or work (I slipped up once and didn't catch a big assignment that was due the next day! H was p*ssed off more with me than he was with S12.), and oh! Try not to forget to wipe up the jam jar!

I actually thought yesterday at work I am going to spend the evening cleaning, that will be an interesting 180 if H walks in and it is spotless(please now my house is not a disgusting mess, it just isn't like his mom's perfect place) But then I got home and after everything was said and done i wasn't feeling to bright and sunny so I decided to pull out my exercise bike and exercise for the first time since the bomb.

I did find that link that Karen suggested and I am going to try that out and see if I can keep up.

Its funny though when I got home the same guy who was so concerned about the house had left the bread open on the counter and the melba toast box out, crumbs everywhere. He was in a good mood at that point and so was I so I asked where my phone was so I could send him a mean text saying close the bread! He laughed.

The sooner we work on forgiveness, the sooner we can begin to move forward in a positive direction.

I am trying, I am trying. I have been doing very well for the last week and a half and we have got along great for the most part.

So then he changes the subject were you out playing catch, how many times did you play this week?

He's probably thinking if you've got time to play catch, then you've got time to clean house and make sure that D gets her homework done.

This one is more his jealousy creeping in, catch is at lunch at work, he was so concerned last week he near begged me to come home and had nonchalantly worked it into conversation a number of times since. First scrimmage game Thursday night!


Now for tonight's journaling. Met H and D after work for chinese food. We were the only people in the restaurant until my parents came in. So much for intimate conversation. My mom walks in the restaurant do you want us to sit by you or on the other side so you don;t have to see us! I just rolled my eyes. I did ask them to sit at the table next to us as they were pulling up their chairs to our table.

We went to Walmart after dinner cause H promised D an E-pet if she was good. He took me around the store pointing out all the different things he had considered getting me for Mother's day before he picked what he picked. He was showing me a bench for the house when we saw an awesome screened gazebo with a fold out bar on the side, and he started talking about how we should get it for our yard and sitting out in it in the summer. Interesting. I kind of expected H to take off from there but he asked D who she wanted to ride with back to the house. She picked him and he came back for another hour and a half. All in all in was fairly decent.