still need to be here at times

[GoingForward]

WDID,

Yoyo is right. We can all definitely see how hard you are trying, and just how committed you are to repairing your R with your H.

I think it was klm or Starshyne who suggested that you read "Not Just Friends" by Dr. Shirley Glass. Please look into getting it or borrowing it from your library as soon as you possibly can.

I can understand your hesitancy in disclosing the letter and the details of your recent contact with OM. I know you don't want to hurt your H anymore than he already has been, but the pain and possible anger he might feel will only be temporary. The long-term effect will be to heal.

Here's a quote from the book:

Sharing the details is an act of positive demolition. The involved spouse dismantles the structure that kept the injured spouse outside in the cold and replaces deceit with hope.

Might I also suggest, that should OM contact you again, tell your H about it BEFORE you make any decision to talk, e-mail, IM, the OM. If you are totally open and honest with your H beforehand and including him in the decision on what to do about the sitch, you are showing him that you are really committed to making this work. You will score BIG points in rebuilding trust by doing this, by showing your H that you care about and respect his feelings.

Good luck to you.

(((((WDID)))))