I think the withdrawal will vary depending on three variables :
1. The intensity of the relationship (PA, EA) 2. The duration of that same relationship (one night stand, long term affair, etc). 3. The efforts betrayed spouse, unfaithful spouse, and OP are in reinforcing the no contact rule and bringing the betrayed spouse back into the heart of the unfaithful spouse.
I read the average affair lasts only six months and then dies out...so that 3-4 weeks and 6 to 18 months is likley for the average affair of intensity and duration.
I wouldn't rely on that measurement as an indicator in any affair, its likely at best a ballpark...
Obviously, the third variable is the only one you really have control over. Each spouse can make it easy on their partner who is going through withdrawal, OR more difficult.
So, WhatdidIdo, your husband can make great strides here for you if he follows "Not Just Friends" and other advice. I honestly think the withdrawal can be quite easy if the spouse helps, or a real torture if the spouse isn't supportive.
Lets focus on the last variable guys, that one is perhaps the most powerful of the three, AND its one we have control over. Do'nt think withdrawal is just a stage where you sit around and wait...withdrawal is an opportunity to bond again. Your partner's hurting - HELP them and be the friend they need you to be.
WhatDidIDo, i think you could be a great benefit to spouses who are still on the fence or who are having an affair. You spending time with them counselling them on how rewarding returning to your spouse can be. How morally liberating and how uplifting it is to have a mountain of stress tossed away. You really could help a lot of people and help yourself at the same time.
