Better late than never?

[MichelleLT]

she's really starting to confide in me again.

Awesome! Keep doing what works!!

Take the time to actively think about things you admire about your spouse, and specifically complement them, especially the areas you're most unhappy about. This will be interpreted by them as love, even though saying "I love you" won't work right now.

Also good advice. I will have to try a spin on that.

And the more I think about it, I want her to choose me again because she wants to, not because she's needy or desperate or whatever.

That is so loving and selfless of you! That attitude gives her the freedom she needs to make her choice without pressure.

Keep up the great work!