Better late than never?

[jon2911]

Had a great talk last night, probably an hour and a half. Kept it light and fun, and she's really starting to confide in me again.

Had a fantastic meeting with my counselor today, he was excited to hear the developments. Actually, I was surprised how encouraged he was. Anyway, he gave me some great advice that I thought would help anyone else who's separated:

Take the time to actively think about things you admire about your spouse, and specifically complement them, especially the areas you're most unhappy about. This will be interpreted by them as love, even though saying "I love you" won't work right now.

In my situation, this would be something like "I really admire the way you think for yourself and follow through on your decisions. You're so strong. I may not agree with your choice to separate and divorce me, but I admire your strength."

Wow. I really think that would work. A friend was telling me the other day about how he always admired those things about my wife. And I said, "but I never thought it would bite me in the ass like this." So it really hurts, but those are still things I admire about my W. And the more I think about it, I want her to choose me again because she wants to, not because she's needy or desperate or whatever.