i think things are getting better. H is spending less time playing games and has been more helpful with the girls a little bit.
I'm being patient with him cause he can't possibly understand how i'm feeling right now and that can't be easy for him. It is obvious he's putting in an effort, so that's good.
problem is that i'm still not feeling the way i should for him. i find myself feeling like i don't even want to be M anymore and that i just don't care. I'm going to hope that this is just me being tired and worn out and only having a week and a half left in this pregnancy. It doesn't much matter what it is, i'm just going to deal with that.
He's trying to be better and I'm trying to love him and want him. Still having problems with the intimacy stuff, but that's nothing new.
haven't been on here in a while because i just feel like i really don't deserve the help. I feel like i don't want to be M anymore and everyone here is fighting for that. anyways. i'm not giving up, maybe i'll feel differently in few months or so... or maybe never. As long as he's still willing to be there, I will be too, though! My girls deserve that. He does too...
Mother's day was interesting. I woke up pretty sick and had to clean up my house. h was tired so i let him sleep. we all went to the park with my mom and sisters and had a picnic and let the girls play. went home, slept. H actually watched the girls and started a bath for them. Spent the rest of my night doing homework. Not great, but i've had worse days. Just another day, really.
I hope you are all doing well.
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
