I'm surprised that your L reacted that way. I guess sane people just don't get it. Though I thought your lawyer had enough experience dealing with your H that she would know it's a little power play/mind game with him. He may or may not really want to see the boys, but the main reason for this behavior is that he's trying to control you, IMO, just like he has all along with every aspect of your sitch. Oh, and trying to look to the courts like he's SuperDad who sees his kids everyday, of course!
My H did the same thing with Mother's Day weekend. I posted about it on my own thread. When my friend heard about his latest antics, she actually asked me if he had a brain tumor!!
I think he's got a tumor in his soul. Sounds like yours does, too.
Hang in there, Mrs. H!
Me:40, xH:41 M:19 T:21 D14, S10, D6 IDLYA bomb:12/22/06 OW bomb (21 yr. old employee):12/23/06 H move out 2/07, OW move in 5/07 D papers served 6/07 D final Nov. 26, 08 :-(
MrsH, when you went to court what days were established for visitation? Those are the days JA should see them.
He is up to something...don't text him, call him back or anything else. If his day is wed then assume he will show up on Wed and that is it.
If he just shows up any other day, take the boys get in the car and drive away. He has no idea what the definition of boundaries means.
You need to put him in his place...nicely of course. He sees them on agreed upon days and that is it. Let him drive out of his way on a non-visitation day...guess he can afford the 4.00 gallon of wasted gas!
Really, try not to talk to him...go back to giving the boys the phone the minute you hear his voice.
He is losing control...you can see it/hear it in his messages, he is grasping at straws to continue to bother and have control over you.
You have stopped allowing him to do that and now he doesn't know how to act...Let him spin all by himself...
Sounds like he has a lot of spare time on his hands to cause trouble!
Don't you sense the intensity increasing in his pursuit of bringing you grief?
I agree that he senses the end of this mess is near and that decisions are going to be made that he is not happy with. I also believe that he is in the process of doing anything he can do discredit you from the standpoint of wanting the kids to see their Dad.
This is a delicate matter. You might express to your lawyer that you fear he is attempting to do this to you. It's a shame to think that your own lawyer could not offer more advice.
I thought you agreed upon a visitation schedule at your previous meeting?
He is trying to run you into the ground emotionally and physically. If you are defeated and an emotional basket case, he will have a much easier time come the court date.
Your job is to deflect as much of his crap as possible. No phone calls - leave a message. No tm's back and forth. Have your lawyer inform his lawyer that you want no communication with him except for emergencies, as he has been badgering you relentlessly. Time for it to end.
Whatever you do, do your best to maintain a calm and cool disposition. It's the old "don't let them see you sweat" idea.
What an ass he is.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
He may or may not really want to see the boys, but the main reason for this behavior is that he's trying to control you,
Exactly! He hates when he doesn't have control.
Mom, We established every Wednesday and every other weekend. However, nothing is in writing yet.
Thanks Lissie, sorry Javier has been being an ass. I have been following your sitch. Speaking of brain tumors, did anyone watch Grey's Anatomy a couple weeks back? A patient had a brain tumor that was causing him to have a MLC!
Hi Bill!
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Don't you sense the intensity increasing in his pursuit of bringing you grief?
Yes.
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I agree that he senses the end of this mess is near and that decisions are going to be made that he is not happy with. I also believe that he is in the process of doing anything he can do discredit you from the standpoint of wanting the kids to see their Dad
I agree too.
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It's a shame to think that your own lawyer could not offer more advice.
Tell me about it.
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What an ass he is
Yes he is.
I can't wait for this all to be done with. The stress is killing me.